What I learned about style in the first year of being a mom

Not buying things has been both a blessing and a curse in this

Oct 01, 2024

At my latest visit to Voo Store I ended up once again utterly tempted. I almost fell for the softest Satisfy gloves, made out of “ghost fleece” – they feel the part! Primarily but not exclusively made for running. Like, what? My next move has to be well calculated. Welcome dear TIDBTW readers: new week, new nothing.

Anyway, there I was, crunching through the aisles where the idea (but not my actual baby) was born, suddenly realising I’ve made it through nine months of this challenge. And that, somewhat in parallel, my child is turning one. As I carefully consumed the only available things available to me in there – oat cappuccino and sourdough chocolate cake (yep) – it dawned on me that my life is a loop of revelations. How was it going for myself as a fashion mom? So I decided to sketch this out for you: what, if anything, did I actually learn about (my) style in the past twelve months?

1. Confusion is real

Can you embrace the nuances of life? Well, I often find that hard too. And I did find it challenging – often also interesting, exciting, even romantic! – to basically dress three different bodies within two years. I enjoyed dressing the bump and myself, I reconnected with more colours, more jewelry, in general more of everything. I mostly felt very happy, loved and healthy, which is a blessing. Speaking of blessing – one thing I got for myself in fall 2023 was a sweats set by Aries Arise, which had been up and down my priority list since the pandemic. The day before I went into labour I took my last elevator selfie, the closing look.

Aries No Problemo jumper and sweat pants, HUND HUND trench, Byredo clutch, VIU sunnies. Photo by TIDBTW

A week later, when we returned home with our son, this again was my outfit of choice. I had never deserved sweat pants more. But soon enough, it didn’t feel as cute as it had before. The belly was now empty, but I didn’t just bounce back. (Even if I can see how someone might think that). To me this was a new body, with a new mind too. Suddenly occupied with 24/7 adrenaline around a tiny human being, the cuteness vanished as did my summer tan. Don’t get me wrong, this is all I wanted. But if we are talking style, I think this is something good to remember: bodies change, bodies are beautiful, they fight for us, they sometimes act against us, but they always deserve patience and kindness. The child might be outside now, but YOU are still in there. So despite all the shopping rules I dish out all the time - do get something you feel good in. Whatever that might entail at this point of your life. In my case I bought some woolen COS trousers in my new size (this was still in 2023 and I will go back to these once the temperatures drop) and paired them with a blazer. I don’t remember where I wanted to go like this, circa two months postpartum.

But I think I changed into this shortly after, I kept the trousers but added a giant hoodie from 032c I had previously bought on vinted.

Just because I couldn’t connect to my former easy style formula: Blazer + trousers. Now I needed something else provided that, a safe space for my body and a new proportion that created a familiar feeling of oversized layers.

Did I feel like myself? No, but in my eyes I dressed more like myself 2.0. I was still adjusting to going from tiny chest to big breasts for example, things just fall differently. This wasn’t about shape, it was about trying to figure out so many new things all at once that you’re trying to hold on to something you know from before: yourself - and then that’s gone (at least temporarily). And that can be a lot. It’s okay to voice that, it’s okay to be frustrated at times. But then - if you can - try to make the best out of the version of yourself that you can currently dress. Maybe this opens up a field of clothes in your wardrobe that didn’t feel as good on you before? This is just the beginning of a lifetime of changes, and not all of them come with a cute sidekick like this one. So we better chill out.

2. You can still wear all-white

In lighter news, literally: all-white is still an option. But it comes with a price. Which includes having bile soap at hand at any time. In general I’ve embraced the fact that nothing is left unstained for long and, if you let go of that expectation, clothes become clothes, nothing more, nothing less. In summer I regularly wear a white T-Shirt and white trousers, the general oversized-ness of things irritating everyone who’s contemplating if I work in medical service. This VOGUE top is snug enough to be a bad example of that and definitely not as crisp as on the first day of June. But I just liked a bit of risqué carrying my diaper-glad friend here, thank you very much:

I think you should wear every thing you spent money on, otherwise why own it? Motherhood is no carte blanche to not wear your favorite things out. So when it comes to light stuff, I recommend having a napkin for yourself as much as for your child at lunch time. They throw their food at you? You have to be faster. Know their every move. In general, moving: Be on your toes, maybe don’t carry both coffee and baby (mostly always bad idea). And if all goes wrong: embrace it. These spots mean someone small who loves you is having a great time with you today and so should you.

My fav white outfits, ready to be messed up from this past summer:

Left: CAES shirt, Nike parachute trousers (thrifted), Uniqlo wool sweater (thrifted), Jil Sander Tassle bag and Vagabond shoes. Right: Richert Beil top, Baserange cotton trousers (back from the dead with Vanish), old sandals from Italian market, By Far bag (old)

3. Comparing is not helpful

I guess this applies to many situations in life – if watching someone’s stories or feed doesn’t inspire you in a positive way but rather leaves a nagging feeling, please just stop. When you have a newborn those snuggly intimate weeks are dreamy – but they can also get pretty isolating. Cluster feeding and just pure exhaustion can make it hard to go outside let alone dress nicely (read: however you feel nice) and I would often just realize at night that I hadn’t brushed my teeth all day. These days go by fast, but they feel long. So if someone on your screen dresses seemingly effortlessly while having a new baby or showcase being back in their old jeans after three weeks – that’s great! It doesn’t have anything to do with you. I feel like at a time where so much is new and raw, it might be best to guard your open channels. On the other hand it’s of course so so good to chat to other new moms online, while everyone is nesting in different bases. I guess my point is: if you are at pyjama-level and another lady is rocking a mini skirt at her first pram stroll – there’s no better or worse look. Both are potentially cute.

4. Repetition is huge, invest in it

I might repeat myself here too, because I touched on this above already, but I have always been such a serial dresser. (Maybe this an obvious one to everyone now, since the rule of 5 requires the willingness to repeat a LOT) For me it’s about silhouettes and the one that represents me the most on that day. Or the colour of that day. Once you’ve figured out which ones you like and which brand fits you well (if only all of that was so easy), get a nice one of those, one that stays around for a decade or more – instead of many, but cheap. I just learned sth again about how our clothes decompose in

The Crisps

, so scary! Sorry if my tongue gets sloppy, maybe I’m just tired, but this is my truth. For fall I can just say, get a jacket you can’t get enough of. My best purchase for playground in mind, but mostly my obsession with big volume, is the The Frankie Shop ASTRA bomber jacket.

Photo by TIDBTW, travel buggy is Joolz, travel buddy is Rudi. Glasses are VIU, my first purchase!

I found it on vinted last fall, minutes after spotting it as part of a good look on the street. Now I found it again, for you:

Image via Vinted, jacket here in size XS/S and size M/L, both around 250,00€ it runs big.

5. Don’t overthink it, get out there

Number four is especially relevant because the action that sucks energy out of me like nothing else is erratic outfit changing when nothing seems to work. Not even the good repeaters. Sometimes I get stuck in this loop of self doubt for hours (!!!), getting in and out of stuff until I feel like my blood sugar is as low as the overall motivation to step into the world. That’s when I’m desperately craving something new in my wardrobe. What helped me instead especially in the past days as my mind felt particularly tight: something worked just yesterday? Great, change the t-shirt, but just wear the whole damn thing again (see above repetition point, yes). Nobody minds. And if they do (and voice it), they ain’t your friends.

Do I even like print t-shirts at this point? Pink and red? Whatever. If you have a minute to yourself, stop questioning and read that book instead. Here it’s Advance Copy, can recommend!

You don’t have the spirit to put on a full makeup look? Great, more time outside. Some sunlight and oxygen will serve your sleep deprived brain way more than the perfect foundation. However! If mascara makes you happy, go go go for it! There’s no big rule, the only thing is, be kind to yourself, let yourself have a less-put-together day and take that walk around the block with your bb. And breathe. Lately, once I had left the house with my face bare or greasy hair or maybe not the desired look, I’d still arrive somewhere to have a good time, meet sweet people, have a nice chat. That’s what actually gives energy back. Fashion is supposed to be fun, but you are not your outfit <3

PS - it’s also ok to stay home. Take a break! U do u.

6. A good blazer can make your whole day

Finally, of course I had to fit in a little praise for the blazer. We are reunited. The other day I was wearing my workout leggings, plus T-Shirt and a blazer to the bakery and I was complimented upon my pro look?! I was sleeping on the inside, but somehow gave off life. That’s what a good blazer can do for you.

I like mine to work as a duo or with denim or other trousers… so I have some suits and some solo blazers that are purely made to mix and match.

I really love this one by AVENIR, crafted from discarded textiles, 100% wool for 490,00€

Until further notice, I dress in the below: left you see one of my favorite Litkovska suits, worn with vintage Fendi bag and Monki sunglasses. On the right below wearing Arthur’s wool jacket, thrifted for 1 Euro I think. Under this I’m wearing very old HUND HUND t-shirt and Paloma Wool trousers from 2021.

7. Baby’s style will happen naturally

This last one might hurt for a bit and maybe I will elaborate on this more in the future. But I really think it is good to get to know your baby first and then you will come across many (preloved) clothes that just feel right for them. Don’t buy too much beforehand.

What’s in my bag

Lastly!! I totally wanted to show you what’s in my bag, just because I love seeing what YOU have in yours:

I wish I would carry art books and Vogue around or pretty glasses (from Blankstill) - it’s mostly just little bits. Photo by TIDBTW

When out with my son, I usually carry extra socks for him and an expensive hand sanitizer, but seriously the best one I’ve smelled so far!! By Susanne Kaufmann, bought at Hotel Mondschein in Bozen, a magical short stay. Keys with a XOUXOU air tag case, 1-2 dummies, Mac Lip Conditioner SPF 15 ( I think they come in tubes now) and a really old Comme de Garçons wallet. And more things I couldn’t find because I was wearing a different bag yesterday. This bag is thrifted from the fleamarket, purchased for it’s Prada-esk look. Voilá.

Wow, this turned out to be pretty emotional. I am emotional this week, my baby is turning 1! How lucky we are. So, maybe you agree on some of my learnings, maybe you’ve had a different experience this year or the past 12 months. Maybe unrelated to pregnancy. If you want to share, please comment or send me a message. I would love to hear from you.