Wedding guest, but make it last
Something borrowed, something new? Here's what to buy (you might wanna check in with the bride first)
Here’s the truth, dearest TIDBTW readers, I have as much to time write to you, as I have to do my taxes for last month: about 31 minutes, at least if I want to be in bed by 11 pm, which would be really really good for me. So if I seem a little rushed, it’s because I am. It’s another week, 7 days to be precise, until Berlin Fashion Week and how the hell are people working full time with small children!? How? ANYWAY. I have a lot on my mind, as I am looking at 6 months of Things I didn’t buy this week. I will share a little bit about that in the next week or so, but before that, I have something else we need to talk about: weddings. No no, not my own, we still have a little time.
So here’s to wedding GUESTS and my theory: there is nothing more unsustainable than a one-off look, which comes with a one-off feeling. Might be great at first and than quickly dissolves. So in this season of our lives we really want to be strategic. I usually rotate a good set of suits, but if you do 3 weddings in a row and likely meet the same people, you don’t want to wear the same thing all the time. Feels like marrying the same person again and again (a romantic thought at least). So here’s to raiding your friends’ closets or go on the old Vinted or eBay hunt. Which can’t happen last minute and always bares the risk that something arrives in a less than desirable condition and needs tailoring/ dry cleaning/ washing first. Precious time in between festivities that you’d rather wanna spend detoxing.
So instead of leaning into the second hand challenge, I opted for something borrowed. And played a game I’d like to call: “what would I buy if I didn’t put this embargo on myself, causing me emotional stress when even thinking of buying”. Because what did come to my mind immediately when thinking spring summer (wedding)?? I went to MALAIKA RAISS for their new collection. Spoiler: I found the one dress I can actually recommend buying! It’s new, it’s available, it’s special and you might want to see it too. Let’s goooo.
At one of the three weddings I attended within three weeks (I’m taking notes as I’m going) I overheard a conversation (or did I start it!?) about whether or not red is an appropriate colour to wear as a guest. In my opinion, there is always that one person donning something very bright and one can only pray that they checked in with the bride before. The only greater faux-pas was our friend who sported a stunning white linen dress at a summer wedding in France. It looked great!! Except he wasn’t the one getting married.
Finding a fun dress for the undressy person
After a quick consultation with a magazine that I might or might not visit frequently in the near future, brides.com, we can rest assured regarding red: All is well.
So let’s assume you checked in with the couple, you got pink - eh - green light and now what? If you don’t own a red or let’s say bold dress yet, it’s is a really good time to get one. Because we don’t have time to mess around – I think if you decide to wear red, you do feel amazing every time you put it on. Because a red dress takes commitment, from both sides. The dress keeps up its end; being bold, vibrant, sexy and everything. And you do the rest: having a really good time.
I’m not a dress person, no matter how hard I try. Long skirts, yes, dress over trousers, maybe, but dress dress? Difficult relationship. And that’s ok! But I was keen to look into it. Opening the pages of Vestaire, I did see a lot of good times, coming in polyester or see-through-material and with cut-outs. As good times should. And mostly unworn! Here are some favorites:
A gentle reminder to really check-in with the bride before bringing these home. I might be projecting here, but maybe she wants to be the only one showing nerves.
As I was approaching wedding guest scenario three, I felt like I had worn everything in my and Arthurs’ closet combined. I felt restless, uninspired, I felt like something new. How can she solve that, when she is trying not to buy anything? Renting or borrowing came to my mind. I reached out to Malaika to ask her if she would kindly lend me an outfit over the weekend and lucky-me, she said yes. I packed my newly standing-up-on-everything-son and went to her beautiful, equally new studio and showroom. As she was greeting Rudi, I already knew what I wanted. Since attending the launch dinner of her SS24 collection late last summer, I have been thinking about THIS DRESS:
To be fair, she is not red, this is the colour the little ladies print “I know”, based on a painting by Berlin-based artist Anna Zimmermann. The two women collaborate frequently and share a beautiful creative friendship, something very inspiring in this competitive industry.
I’m wearing the MALAIKA RAISS Vic Print Dress with: ASOS silk scarf anno 2006 or 8, Monki sunglasses from last year (practically having “everyone is wearing these cool, big tinted Gucci glasses and this is all I got” written all over it), AEYDE heeled sandals and Jérome Studio Mini bag from 2018 in a perfect yummy cloud color.
I adore this dress! Is it me right now? Not sure. This is about going from feeling most at home in oversized T-shirts and big trousers to just feeling very self conscious. Allowing all contrary thoughts, this did feel very very beautiful, just maybe it’s too early in my new body era. Maybe I’m still emotionally growing back into my figure.
However, maybe you are on a different journey right now and this is your fit. I also really love this very soft yellow dress. Someone go for it! And you know I never say that.
The romantic suit
Entering my comfort zone, suits. For the last two weddings I wore a pastel blue suit by Ukrainian brand BOBKOVA and a grey suit with fine pinstripes from fellow Ukrainian LITKOVSKA (what can I say, they all make amazing suits) – and they felt great! Suits are my homies.
For this third wedding I wanted to change things up a bit, maybe also because I was the best woman. Standing in Malaika’s calm, elegant space, I was asking to look extra romantic, as to fit the happy couple. Malaika has the perfect piece in her current collection, especially if a waft of raspberry cream is our shared idea of romance:
Or Mellow Rose, as the brand names it. I put it on, turned to the mirror – and I was actually very pleasantly surprised. I didn’t expect a powder tone to look good on me.
I’m wearing BLAZER BOUVIER MELLOW ROSE in Large (gotta keep the oversized theme going) and trousers in size S. Paired with Anekdot lace body, no name necklace found at Boxi fleamarket, AEYDE heeled sandals and Jérome Studio Acre bag from 2020 - here’s the red again!
This suit is a great all-rounder; hit me with weddings, meetings, power games, we win. I really feel strongly for muted colors lately, I just wanted us to match so desperately and I think this shade is a great asset. I had a little peak on Vestaire again:
Good news, I also found the perfect one for all fellow English weddings, as this beauty comes padded already (and with a hefty bill):
In the end, I wore Malaika’s suit to the brunch on the morning of the second day of the wedding. Felt romantic, felt strong, felt loving, it even matched my flowers!! Can 100% recommend.
So did I buy anything? I did not! Resilient, restrictive, slightly boring? It’s past 11 pm on the day before this goes out to you and I gotta go. We can dive into my newfound fear of buying very soon, as I will be back later this week. It’s Fashion Week soon and I want to share some things with you. Oh and let me know if you witness people getting married, and what you’re wearing! Until then x
PS - The book I’ve hidden my wedding speech in is also red. It all makes sense.
Things I didn’t buy this week (but I actually strongly recommend <3)
MALAIKA RAISS Dress Vic Print, 529,00 €
MALAIKA RAISS Blazer Bouvier Mellow Rose, 399,00 €
MALAIKA RAISS Trousers Mellow Rose, 299,00 €
May I add neon yellow as not great wedding guest attire colour? :) I did it once without checking with the bride and it was quite disastrous.