How to treat yourself like your own (girl) crush
There's no right way to give or receive jewelry, but here are some styling ideas to check if it's a match
Occasionally I meet someone and they make me question all my beliefs about my own style. Or at least make me want to add to it: I think I’ve told you this before, dear TIDBTW, but my heaviest buying temptations come from personal encounters. So the other day, when Anna Wallander arrived, big warm smile, donning what looked like the perfect green-beige Old Céline sweater, it was like meeting an old friend. A dangerously stylish old friend. “Oh I wear it way too much, all the time, I feel like I’m sleeping in it,” she said as we quickly got to the point of fashion, inspiration – and her knit. She had me at “too much / all the time”. I just love a serial outfit wearer. And I love good jewelry too, so I had done my research: I already knew that her Stockholm based brand, AKIND, held all these gorgeous little studs, hoops and cuffs. If I had previously considered them maybe too sweet for me, too delicate, now that we were chatting over frittata and espresso in Berlin Mitte, I couldn’t unsee her effortlessly embellished ears. They were about to send me on a shopping spree.
A girl crush
I am really secure about my everyday jewelry and rarely feel the need to add to it. But after our conversation and in the presence of those beautiful shiny things, I got home and quickly found myself scrolling through the webshop. I couldn’t wait to recreate that ear game.
The one that I initially felt most drawn to and that I had just seen on Anna, is the Suspender Earring. Apparently a model that everyone loves, as Anna mentioned, and I get it! It even made me contemplate adding another ear hole to my lobe, but ever since I tried to copy designer Elin Kling and went for a front helix piercing that never properly healed, I think I’m good.
But I also love how women can do that for each other, cheer for one another and while society might want to misjudge this as competition, also inspire each other. To be kind to themselves, explore their style, get a piercing, decorate and celebrate their bodies. Be their own crush. And Anna told me that that’s something women do at AKIND, buying a gift for themselves.
Every gift matters
As you know, this year in my shopping rules I let go of the idea that every gift counts towards my 2025 buying total. Although every gift is a purchase (if not self made or passed on), and every purchase can be a gift. Which is a nice way to refer to your fashion spendings, and ultimately shows you that they should mean something. So while I was already filling my basket I kept thinking, “one piece of jewelry among my 12 items for 2025 couldn’t possibly hurt”. To me jewelry is such an important part of each outfit, especially when I rewear things all the time. The choice between my necklaces, rings and earrings provides new joy every day, I cuarted them carefully and over the time of the past 10 years.
I confidentially ordered 3 pieces home, 3 potential gifts to myself, knowing that I might send something back. I feel like if you buy something, you owe it to yourself to try it on with time, create your little outfits around it and see if it really feels YOU.
Bring back the layered necklace please
Ever since Rudi ripped off my favorite everyday necklace my collarbones have been feeling kind of naked. I yet have to repair it. So in the meantime I chose to play around with the idea of adding a golden chain necklace to my wardrobe again. There was a time when I was always wearing my necklace over my turtlenecks and I’m not sure why either ended, the high necks and the layering. Also it’s cute to create a little partner look with Arthur, as we bought his golden necklace at our first trip to Italy together in 2021.
For everyone reading who now has chunky metal in mind, you should have a look at the Curb Chain Necklace. Not bulky but rather dainty, it’s made from recycled 14k solid gold.
So here is how I built the base. Simple yet shiny:
I hope you can tell despite my flat face (that’s me after 7 days without coffee, excuse my recent stomach bug), this necklace brings a really beautiful reflection and feels just elegant, easy.
I later added a grey sweatshirt and it all worked well: You can still wear a necklace over things and it doesn’t look sketchy. This is for you if you love to wear plain but refined stuff, overwear, t-shirts, long-sleeves, a cotton or cashmere knit. A necklace over the sweater is a very subtle way to create a slightly bolder look today. Bold minimalist that is.
But with a fine gold necklace, it doesn’t even matter if you see it all the time, or if it stays under your t-shirt or sweater. What matters is you know it’s there and someone might spot that elegant little band around your neck and wonder if you wear a pendant or not.
The allure of the naked ear
Apropos mysterious, the other day I met a woman who was wearing a beautiful two piece, a suit jacket and skirt, paired with just an ear cuff, no other accessorizing. Although she very well did have pierced ears – she just preferred to leave them empty. I was blown away. This approach is matching my latest obsession to go less, less, less – while adding something extra sparkly here and there. Being raw with a soft edge. Like a walking Juergen Teller photograph. And while I went off mascara completely (which I previously deemed impossible, I do love an occasional lash lift though), I do feel insecure about my face without my little hoops. It just feels very boring without some silver framing, but that’s another belief I’d like to hack.
In a time where everything has to be a statement, can we just keep it personal, mysterious even? So for me, how about instead of adding onto the hoops, I take them out and just go double on the ear cuffs? Deal, done.
I went for the Alliance Diamond Ear Cuff, a beautiful delicate band with 21 lab grown diamants, not just affordable but guilt-free, even utilizing renewable energy (you can read more about it here). Had I originally thought that this style with sparkly little diamonds could be too playful for me, I now love the idea that it mirrors my engagement ring. I planned to pair it with the Bold Ear Cuff. Again I chose two golden cuffs. I don’t know why, maybe it’s the idea of spring, just to mix things up and adding some gold to my otherwise silver adornments. Changing up my own beliefs about my style. Going w-i-l-d. The only person deciding whether Gold and Silver work together is, yes, you.
My one tip for buying jewelry might be obvious – but try it on! With your own stuff, at home, where you feel comfortable. Even if it’s is gift from you and you know yourself well, feel it out. Otherwise it won’t serve you long, no matter how good the value or footprint.
Here is how I would wear these pieces with what I already have to see if we match:
(Wore my platinum engagement ring throughout, no hoops, hehe.)
Indigo denim sets are big this spring and for me that is very literal – I love a relaxed fit. And in my opinion that doesn’t have to overrule the jewelry:
Especially with wide, oversized or flowy clothes, instead of adding bold and heavy pieces, some fine, delicate jewelry is actually a better, more understated contrast to me. It might take a second to be noticed, but then the delicate pieces have an even bigger canvas (your clothes) to shine against.
And denim loves gold in my opinion! Plus nothing beats a white t-shirt that you can simply wear under everything come spring, adding a little spark with the necklace and ear cuffs.
Beige loves Gold
Same for Beige, Beige and Gold are naturally drawn to each other. Here you can see it work with a broad shoulder again – it’s kind of like this, the smaller the accessories, the bigger you can go with your blazers and overcoat.
Of course this also works with any other kind of blazer, be it a very straight, long pinstripe or simple navy one. Extra kudos if you dare to leave out the hoops and just focus on the sideline of your ears with the cuffs. Bare, but boss.
A monochrome outfit + tiny gold ascents
This might be a no-brainer, but sometimes it’s helpful to repeat because it makes us feel like, aw yes, I do have that in my closet, too! Pick a nice fluffy knit or cardigan, ad some slim trousers and boots and you’re done. I get that after a whole winter we feel exhausted. That’s why it’s all about the different textures, so create something simple yet exciting.
We can continue spinning this for office looks, suit game, all of it. Whenever you work with one interesting print or volume of a blazer or one interesting texture of a sweater and keep the rest simple / monochrome – I think that’s when a simple necklace & ear cuff combination work best. Because they have space to stand out.
Here are all my looks:
If you still have any reservations regarding ear cuffs – I said it before, I will say it again, do follow stylist @cuculilla, she knows what she’s doing.
For Valentine’s Day, AKIND launched their Toi et Moi series, featuring stunning colorful diamonds and the standard recycled metals. A bolder, more edgy take for the brand. While on our far too brief lunch date (I hope we can repeat that soon!), Anna told me about her love for colors and clean lines – and I can see both of that coming together in this beautiful capsule drop. I know these rings have a very personal meaning to her, the two stones holding a metaphor that she hopes will transcend to everyone who chooses one for themselves or others. And what if Toi et Moi can also refer to Me & Myself? The many sides of you that allow for a gift to yourself, maybe even as a gentle reminder of your two (plus) exciting faces. I would gladly choose the clear Asscher shape in gold below and wear it on my pinky:
A huge part of my lesser buying agreement with myself is repetition. But even a uniform can be reinvented, inspired to change and extended from time to time - especially when that includes recycled materials.
So here’s how you gift yourself best, in my opinion: Take it home, play around with it. No need to rush. You want to find something that really represents who you are at this point in your life, with all your marks and unique features. Ask yourself:
Do I love it immediately? (Do I love myself wearing it)
Do I have at least 3 looks I want to wear it with? (On repeat)
Is it made in a sustainable / long lasting way?
If you know you know. Maybe be your own crush today. Surprise yourself, treat yourself to a whole new ear palette. Or buy nothing at all. Happy International Women’s Day xx
Disclaimer: This article is part of a collaboration with AKIND, which means a lot to me! Because jewelry is such an important part of the outfits we repeat. I love to chose pieces that bring me joy every day – even more so when made of recycled metals. For more sustainable fine jewelry follow here @weareakind
Things I didn’t buy this week: 5 (but I am seriously considering it!)
AKIND Suspender Earring, recycled 14K solid gold, 230,00€
AKIND Alliance Diamond Ear Cuff, 21 lab grown diamonds & 14 recycled gold, 290,00€
AKIND Bold Ear Cuff (a perfect coupling) made from 14k recycled gold, 195,00€
AKIND Curb Chain Necklace, made from 14k recycled gold, 490,00€
AKIND Toi et Moi Diamond Ring, lab grown Asscher shape diamonds, 2.500,00€ (made to order in 6-7 weeks)
Love the idea behind the post and jewelry is so underrated! xx